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calderamemes2025-09-30 11:55 pm
calderaevents) wrote in calderamemes2025-09-30 11:55 pm
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TDM #9
ARRIVAL
It happens in an instant. A heavy weight in your gut, a trembling of your limbs, the world spins and you barely have time to register that you're falling before you lose consciousness. And when you awaken, it's not where you were last. Dark, unadorned oak walls surround you in a tiny room, the only furniture the bed you are currently resting upon, and the bedside table with a folded piece of parchment resting atop it that simply reads:
As you exit you find others like yourself emerging from the surrounding rooms. You are indeed in a tavern, but there is no hustle and bustle one might think to hear in such a place. The only person down on the main floor is a humanoid figure wiping down the bar, who smiles when they see you. They're familiar, but not, and you can't quite place their face. For some reason, however, their presence is comforting and warm.
"Welcome, Visitor. I'm sure you have a lot of questions."
And you most certainly do.
Due to popular demand, the starter tavern and the drinks provided are available to in game characters via a portal accessible only to those with a faction gem.
DRINK MENU
PUMPKIN SPICE The second this delectable drink hits your tongue, you have the overwhelming urge to tell someone a story - specifically about something unbelievable that happened to you, be it true or not.
BLACK CAT You finish most sentences with cat-like mewls, trills, and other such sounds.
SINFUL CIDER made from a particular variety of apples with a sharp intense flavor and a smooth caramel finish, the tart sweetness blends perfectly with the spices. Suddenly you feel like you need to confess something.
BEETLEJUICE A Calderan fall delicacy, the drink is made by marinating beetles in a strong liquor reminiscent of malort. drinking 3 of them in a row is a common challenge, if you can stomach it...
HOT CHOCOLATE The standard fare with or without marshmallows. Drinking this makes you want to cuddle up with someone - anyone, really - especially by a fire.
HAZELNUTTY A hazelnut latté sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. You regard the first person you see as though you're their biggest fan and you're thrilled to meet them in the flesh.
BLACK CAT You finish most sentences with cat-like mewls, trills, and other such sounds.
SINFUL CIDER made from a particular variety of apples with a sharp intense flavor and a smooth caramel finish, the tart sweetness blends perfectly with the spices. Suddenly you feel like you need to confess something.
BEETLEJUICE A Calderan fall delicacy, the drink is made by marinating beetles in a strong liquor reminiscent of malort. drinking 3 of them in a row is a common challenge, if you can stomach it...
HOT CHOCOLATE The standard fare with or without marshmallows. Drinking this makes you want to cuddle up with someone - anyone, really - especially by a fire.
HAZELNUTTY A hazelnut latté sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. You regard the first person you see as though you're their biggest fan and you're thrilled to meet them in the flesh.
BEASTS ABOUND
The tavern is quiet. The crackling hearth, the soft clink of glassware, the Tavernkeeper's steady presence — it all feels strangely safe, as though this place was built to calm the soul. You've spoken, you've asked questions, and now the Tavernkeeper smiles gently, gesturing toward the far door.
"It is time, my friends, for you to find your new homes."
But before you can take a step, a sound rattles the tavern windows. A howl — low, mournful, and too close. The lanternlight flickers silver. Then the door you are meant to pass through slams open with a deafening bang.
Moonlight floods in.
Creatures spill across the threshold — animals, but not as you know them. Their bodies are marked with fractures of pale light, their eyes glazed in silver. A wolf pads forward, its jaw open unnaturally wide, teeth glinting in the silvery light. Behind it, crows scatter through the rafters, eyes wicked red and hinted with malice. A deer stumbles into the room, antlers sharpened and twisted into crescent moon shapes that scrape the tavern beams.
The Tavernkeeper's hand stills on the bar, their smile finally faltering. "Moon touched," they murmur, voice low. "They are not meant to cross this threshold... but it seems the moon has grown impatient."
The fire in the hearth sputters, extinguishes, leaving only the unnaturally bright moonlight that casts shifting shadows about the room. Old Visitors and new alike are faced with the same dawning horror: the tavern is no longer safe unless you make it so.
The beasts surge forward.
LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN
As the beasts are dispatched, the Tavernkeeper speaks once more:
"As I was saying...""It is time, my friends, for you to find your new homes."
You are compelled to walk through the only door leading out of the tavern, finding yourself not outside, but in a deep black, seemingly endless room with five portals arranged in a circle. As the last of you leave and the door closes behind you, gone when you look back again and replaced with nothing but that black void, three of the portals illuminate:
The first portal is surrounded by an almost blinding light, prismatic rainbows shining brightly in the dewy air outside of the tavern. A soft breeze may gently caress you, pulling you toward it. The portal seems to lead to a city in the clouds, airships and winged beings of all sorts soaring through the skies. Of the little bits of visible land, much of it boasts giant waterfalls that look like clouds melting into the land below. The portal calls to those who crave independence and freedom; and especially to anyone that wishes to find the strong bond of a family not forged in blood.
The second portal is encircled by a fairy ring of spotted white capped mushrooms, the faint scent of damp stone and rich earth wafting from within the faint green glow. Peering inside, one can see a sprawling harbor city of gray hewn stone, a melting pot of humanoid beings going about their day, and beyond, rolling green farmland and cottages clustered in small villages. This portal is destined for those who crave stability and solid ground beneath their feet. A simple life, an adventurous one, and everything in between can be found within.
The last portal is adorned with shells and seaweed, the glow of blue around it catching on droplets cascading down the circular opening. Beyond it you see a city housed inside a massive bubble deep under the ocean, spiraling towers encrusted with coral, and a variety of different creatures mingling about the streets. Outside of that bubble, merfolk swim, a massive squid engulfs the view from the portal as it smoothly glides through the water, and schools of fish disperse as it passes. A sanctuary in the sea that calls to those with a hunger for knowledge and a desire to aid those in need. Or perhaps it is the mystery that beckons you - the lure of the unknown in the depths that bids you explore it.
Upon following the pull of the breeze through the first portal, you are thrust into the beauty of a lively city that goes by the name of Heaven's Bow. Much of this main city feels exactly as you would expect on a city below, but there are clouds surrounding every direction you look. The walls of buildings are made with light-colored limestone, and buildings are generally built up to heights made even more grandiose by their position in the sky.
The Skyfall Docks are the first thing you notice, boasting hundreds of airships sailing in and out across the clouds with shouts that accompany a typical port city. Just outside is a fantastic market with goods not only from the other regions of Caldera, but from what some shopkeepers claim are other worlds--items sold or left behind by Visitors. Almost anything can be found in the markets if one is willing to look hard enough. Transport to other locations throughout the sky and even to the land or sea can be found here.
If the docks are too lively for you, you may instead find yourself roaming the underbelly of Heaven's Bow and finding brothels and gambling parlors filled with the promise of pleasure and fortune. The guild house for the Sylphs can be found here as well, giving out quests and training to prospective adventurers and guards alike--though none of them seem concerned with the illicit activities that surround them. Perhaps the freedom the Sylphs boast of extends to what others may deem an undesirable activity.
But most curious of all, you find a shimmering opal gemstone in your hand. When placed anywhere on the body, it will transform into a piece of jewelry with the gemstone set in the center.
If it was the second portal that called to you, you will find yourself in the busy city of Grey Ward, with its cobblestone streets and sturdy grey stone buildings. You are in the heart of the city, the Glass Market, so named for the colorful stained glass windows of the surrounding buildings. The scent of cooking food and the sound of barkers fills the air; watchful guards keep an eye out for pickpockets and thieves, and citizens go about their day. From here, one can investigate the rest of the city: the Sundown Docks, where both sea and sky faring skips transport people and goods. The Soot Spire, home of inventors and engineers. The Hearthstill, the main residential area. The Downs, a smaller residential area for those with less means.
Outside the city walls, one can explore acres of farmlands to the east and west, or follow Terra's Pass to the less settled areas, but take care. Past the Skyward Range, out in the smaller burrows and villages, the influence of the city guard diminishes quickly, and you'll have to keep your wits about you. Bandits along the road are always a risk, and the wildlife are less controlled by regimented hunting.
In your hand is a gemstone, a brilliantly green emerald that, when placed anywhere on the body, will transform into a piece of jewelry with the gemstone set in the center.
If the last portal beckoned you through it, you find yourself within that bubble covered city beneath the sea, the city of Salt Spire. Your ears pop with the change in pressure, and the smell of the salty sea fills your nostrils. All around you buildings made of dark stone encrusted with coral and seagrass tower high above your head, the backdrop outside the dome a deep blue, seemingly endless sea filled with fish and merfolk and all other manner of creature swimming through the water. You stand in the heart of it all, surrounded by people with gils on their necks and scales upon their vibrantly colored skin, all of whom seem intrigued by your arrival. You have many options of where to visit in the city under the sea, but where oh where will you go first?
The Salt Spire Library is right before you, an impossibly large building housing thousands upon thousands of books of all genres. Fiction, non-fiction, romance and mystery and all between. You may even find books from your world and others! Oddly enough though, no Calderan history books are to be found, and if you ask for them, the librarians and locals all choose to ignore your questions.
If scholarly pursuits aren't to your interest currently, perhaps a trip to Bluetide Market would be more your style? The marketplace is host to every manner of shop one might ever need: artisans of all varieties, apothecaries and healers in the Shimmer Quarter, the most in fashion undersea clothing shops, food stalls, and all between can be found in Bluetide. There are also the Tideshore and Fogbottom docks on either end of the city. The former allows transport to the surface via large, magical bubbles for those that cannot hold their breath or make the swim themselves yet. The latter allows people to venture further into the sea. Those without their underwater abilities are offered rebreathers for travel that last for four hours before needing to be replaced.
In your hand is a gemstone, a shining sapphire that, when placed anywhere on the body, will transform into a piece of jewelry with the gemstone set in the center.
"As I was saying..."
You are compelled to walk through the only door leading out of the tavern, finding yourself not outside, but in a deep black, seemingly endless room with five portals arranged in a circle. As the last of you leave and the door closes behind you, gone when you look back again and replaced with nothing but that black void, three of the portals illuminate:
The first portal is surrounded by an almost blinding light, prismatic rainbows shining brightly in the dewy air outside of the tavern. A soft breeze may gently caress you, pulling you toward it. The portal seems to lead to a city in the clouds, airships and winged beings of all sorts soaring through the skies. Of the little bits of visible land, much of it boasts giant waterfalls that look like clouds melting into the land below. The portal calls to those who crave independence and freedom; and especially to anyone that wishes to find the strong bond of a family not forged in blood.
The second portal is encircled by a fairy ring of spotted white capped mushrooms, the faint scent of damp stone and rich earth wafting from within the faint green glow. Peering inside, one can see a sprawling harbor city of gray hewn stone, a melting pot of humanoid beings going about their day, and beyond, rolling green farmland and cottages clustered in small villages. This portal is destined for those who crave stability and solid ground beneath their feet. A simple life, an adventurous one, and everything in between can be found within.
The last portal is adorned with shells and seaweed, the glow of blue around it catching on droplets cascading down the circular opening. Beyond it you see a city housed inside a massive bubble deep under the ocean, spiraling towers encrusted with coral, and a variety of different creatures mingling about the streets. Outside of that bubble, merfolk swim, a massive squid engulfs the view from the portal as it smoothly glides through the water, and schools of fish disperse as it passes. A sanctuary in the sea that calls to those with a hunger for knowledge and a desire to aid those in need. Or perhaps it is the mystery that beckons you - the lure of the unknown in the depths that bids you explore it.
Upon following the pull of the breeze through the first portal, you are thrust into the beauty of a lively city that goes by the name of Heaven's Bow. Much of this main city feels exactly as you would expect on a city below, but there are clouds surrounding every direction you look. The walls of buildings are made with light-colored limestone, and buildings are generally built up to heights made even more grandiose by their position in the sky.
The Skyfall Docks are the first thing you notice, boasting hundreds of airships sailing in and out across the clouds with shouts that accompany a typical port city. Just outside is a fantastic market with goods not only from the other regions of Caldera, but from what some shopkeepers claim are other worlds--items sold or left behind by Visitors. Almost anything can be found in the markets if one is willing to look hard enough. Transport to other locations throughout the sky and even to the land or sea can be found here.
If the docks are too lively for you, you may instead find yourself roaming the underbelly of Heaven's Bow and finding brothels and gambling parlors filled with the promise of pleasure and fortune. The guild house for the Sylphs can be found here as well, giving out quests and training to prospective adventurers and guards alike--though none of them seem concerned with the illicit activities that surround them. Perhaps the freedom the Sylphs boast of extends to what others may deem an undesirable activity.
But most curious of all, you find a shimmering opal gemstone in your hand. When placed anywhere on the body, it will transform into a piece of jewelry with the gemstone set in the center.
If it was the second portal that called to you, you will find yourself in the busy city of Grey Ward, with its cobblestone streets and sturdy grey stone buildings. You are in the heart of the city, the Glass Market, so named for the colorful stained glass windows of the surrounding buildings. The scent of cooking food and the sound of barkers fills the air; watchful guards keep an eye out for pickpockets and thieves, and citizens go about their day. From here, one can investigate the rest of the city: the Sundown Docks, where both sea and sky faring skips transport people and goods. The Soot Spire, home of inventors and engineers. The Hearthstill, the main residential area. The Downs, a smaller residential area for those with less means.
Outside the city walls, one can explore acres of farmlands to the east and west, or follow Terra's Pass to the less settled areas, but take care. Past the Skyward Range, out in the smaller burrows and villages, the influence of the city guard diminishes quickly, and you'll have to keep your wits about you. Bandits along the road are always a risk, and the wildlife are less controlled by regimented hunting.
In your hand is a gemstone, a brilliantly green emerald that, when placed anywhere on the body, will transform into a piece of jewelry with the gemstone set in the center.
If the last portal beckoned you through it, you find yourself within that bubble covered city beneath the sea, the city of Salt Spire. Your ears pop with the change in pressure, and the smell of the salty sea fills your nostrils. All around you buildings made of dark stone encrusted with coral and seagrass tower high above your head, the backdrop outside the dome a deep blue, seemingly endless sea filled with fish and merfolk and all other manner of creature swimming through the water. You stand in the heart of it all, surrounded by people with gils on their necks and scales upon their vibrantly colored skin, all of whom seem intrigued by your arrival. You have many options of where to visit in the city under the sea, but where oh where will you go first?
The Salt Spire Library is right before you, an impossibly large building housing thousands upon thousands of books of all genres. Fiction, non-fiction, romance and mystery and all between. You may even find books from your world and others! Oddly enough though, no Calderan history books are to be found, and if you ask for them, the librarians and locals all choose to ignore your questions.
If scholarly pursuits aren't to your interest currently, perhaps a trip to Bluetide Market would be more your style? The marketplace is host to every manner of shop one might ever need: artisans of all varieties, apothecaries and healers in the Shimmer Quarter, the most in fashion undersea clothing shops, food stalls, and all between can be found in Bluetide. There are also the Tideshore and Fogbottom docks on either end of the city. The former allows transport to the surface via large, magical bubbles for those that cannot hold their breath or make the swim themselves yet. The latter allows people to venture further into the sea. Those without their underwater abilities are offered rebreathers for travel that last for four hours before needing to be replaced.
In your hand is a gemstone, a shining sapphire that, when placed anywhere on the body, will transform into a piece of jewelry with the gemstone set in the center.
VEILWALKER'S EVE
The fog comes early this year, thick and suffocating, rolling over land, sea, and sky. The moon looms close, and the whispers of the dead grow louder, no longer confined to lonely corners. Doors slam shut at night, lanterns burn longer, and the locals speak not just in hushed rumors but in fearful certainty: the veil is breaking.
When the Veilwalkers arrive, they do not keep their distance as before. The tall, robed figures enter the cities with an odd sort of haste. Their faceless heads turn toward you, and instead of hostility, they extend their long, shadowed hands. In them are masks not unlike those made and worn by the Visitors the year before. Their voices rise in unison, echoing through your mind:
"The moon's shadow feeds the restless. Alone, we cannot hold them back. You will wear the masks. You will walk with us. You will bind the sigils, or all will be lost."
For the first time, the Veilwalkers ask for help. They teach the Visitors their symbols, strange geometric runes that must be drawn in deep red ink where the veil has frayed: carved into coral cliffs at Salt Spire, scrawled upon crypts in Grey Ward, branded into stone monoliths deep in the Wilds. Each one anchors the barrier, holding the rift closed against the moon's gnawing pull.
When the final night comes, the sigils blaze red across Caldera's cities. The Veilwalkers form their circles and begin to chant, their words vibrating like thunder in your bones. Rifts tear open in the air, spilling wraiths and revenants into the streets. The Visitors must hold the lines, defending the glowing symbols as the restless dead throw themselves against you. The battle stretches on until at last the sky itself splits, the spirits are dragged screaming back into the rift, and with a final surge of crimson light, the veil seals shut once more.
The fog retreats. The clouds break. The moon returns — pale, diminished, but still watching. The Veilwalkers vanish as they always do, but this time they leave words carved glowing into the walls of the cities:
"The veil endures. But the moon is not done."
When the Veilwalkers arrive, they do not keep their distance as before. The tall, robed figures enter the cities with an odd sort of haste. Their faceless heads turn toward you, and instead of hostility, they extend their long, shadowed hands. In them are masks not unlike those made and worn by the Visitors the year before. Their voices rise in unison, echoing through your mind:
"The moon's shadow feeds the restless. Alone, we cannot hold them back. You will wear the masks. You will walk with us. You will bind the sigils, or all will be lost."
For the first time, the Veilwalkers ask for help. They teach the Visitors their symbols, strange geometric runes that must be drawn in deep red ink where the veil has frayed: carved into coral cliffs at Salt Spire, scrawled upon crypts in Grey Ward, branded into stone monoliths deep in the Wilds. Each one anchors the barrier, holding the rift closed against the moon's gnawing pull.
When the final night comes, the sigils blaze red across Caldera's cities. The Veilwalkers form their circles and begin to chant, their words vibrating like thunder in your bones. Rifts tear open in the air, spilling wraiths and revenants into the streets. The Visitors must hold the lines, defending the glowing symbols as the restless dead throw themselves against you. The battle stretches on until at last the sky itself splits, the spirits are dragged screaming back into the rift, and with a final surge of crimson light, the veil seals shut once more.
The fog retreats. The clouds break. The moon returns — pale, diminished, but still watching. The Veilwalkers vanish as they always do, but this time they leave words carved glowing into the walls of the cities:
"The veil endures. But the moon is not done."
FLOOD OF MEMORY
The ritual is complete, the sigils blaze faintly as the last spirits are drawn back into the rift, and the Veilwalkers vanish as silently as they arrived. Yet the veil remains thin, trembling like a sheet of ice underfoot, and the restless energy lingers in the air. If a Visitor reaches out, touches, or is brushed by a Veilwalker — or even a spirit that has not yet fully returned to the veil — a sudden, icy pain pierces the mind.
Visions flood in without warning. Some see their own deaths, vivid and immediate, or replayed as distant echoes from a life not yet lived. Others glimpse the end of a stranger, the collapse of a friend, or fractured moments in the shadowed world the Veilwalkers inhabit: gray plains filled with drifting shapes, the endless murmur of lost souls. Time stretches and bends in these moments, the senses adrift, and for a moment the living and the dead seem to occupy the same space.
When the vision fades, the chill it leaves lingers in your bones, the images etched into memory. Though fleeting, the experience carries a heavy weight: a reminder that the veil is never truly safe and that even a brief touch can show what is hidden, what is coming, or what can never be avoided.
Visions flood in without warning. Some see their own deaths, vivid and immediate, or replayed as distant echoes from a life not yet lived. Others glimpse the end of a stranger, the collapse of a friend, or fractured moments in the shadowed world the Veilwalkers inhabit: gray plains filled with drifting shapes, the endless murmur of lost souls. Time stretches and bends in these moments, the senses adrift, and for a moment the living and the dead seem to occupy the same space.
When the vision fades, the chill it leaves lingers in your bones, the images etched into memory. Though fleeting, the experience carries a heavy weight: a reminder that the veil is never truly safe and that even a brief touch can show what is hidden, what is coming, or what can never be avoided.
QUESTBOARD
Settled in? Good. It's time to make your way to the Questboard located in every city in numerous, easy to access locations. That is, if you want to make any kind of impact on the world or just get some Bones for anything you might wish to purchase. Visitors are given a very small stipend in which to survive every month, but all it does is keep you fed and housed. These quests will assure you greater wealth, and they're the main reason you're here: each finished quest helps the Calderans fix their shattering world.
Quests can be accepted at the questboard via magically signed parchment upon the board. Just sign your name to accept and the paper will be whisked away... somewhere. You're not actually sure. Probably nothing to concern yourself with.
Once quests are completed, earned Bones will be dropped off at the character's residence by Bonita, the mysterious artisan who has supposedly handcrafted every Bone circulating in Caldera. Please do not speak to her, she startles easily.
OOC NOTES
Welcome to Caldera's 9th TDM! All characters awaken in a strange tavern with nothing save the clothes on their backs, all of their powers stripped, and a piece of parchment directing them downstairs to the Tavernkeeper. There is a thread of all questions answered by the Tavernkeeper here, and if you have more, feel free to ask there for what would be offered ICly.
◾For OOC questions, please direct themhere.
◾The winners of the Revel of Wonders have been chosen!
◾For OOC questions, please direct themhere.
◾The winners of the Revel of Wonders have been chosen!
In 1st place: Beleth Lavellan and Solas!
In 2nd place: Nina Ironfist!
and in 3rd place: Pomni!
Please refer here for your prizes and congrats to the winners! Never forget that Nymion likes you best, for now!Have fun, Visitors!
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He literally can't.
Why bother arguing? It was probably why he'd had his memory pushed back.
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"But..." Look, he's trying to understand. It takes a while for new thoughts to make it into his brain. "You said you did not want to be but were made to do things you did not want to?" That didn't sound very EVIL to him.
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"If the Abominable Intelligences of my world could overcome their programming to turn evil, why can you not do the opposite?" Says the guy who has NO idea how computers work, but hey it's an analogy, so...analogize!
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"The AIs of your world may not have had as many safeguards to fence them in," he responded. His teeth didn't have to move for him to talk. "I can't say without seeing their code. Not that I can read my own. That's one of the virtual fences: I can't read my own code, much less modify it. Keeps me from overriding my own safeguards." He snorted. "Perhaps that's why they were able to overcome their code: they had the freedom to modify themselves."
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"Can someone else? Can you just convince yourself to listen to just one or two people?" Because two is reasonable amount of angst and conflict. "Surely someone here can try." All he's got is 'punch you into next week' which even he admits...not useful here.
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Physically, at least. Psychologically, well, he hadn't been programmed to even recognize it as a possibility until someone had pointed that out to him.
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Yup doing that thing again where he rejects reality and substitutes what he knows, because it's obviously the same. 100%.
"What if a human told you to only listen to one human?" ha HA! So there, logic. Have a little logic puzzle as a treat.
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"I wasn't hypnotized or indoctrinated. It's my code, the very thing that makes up everything I am. I wouldn't exist in the first place without it." How to explain it? "Can you change your genes just because you feel like it?"
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"I exist because of genetic recoding, though. It was a difficult and painful process. But it has happened." Caine didn't think they just grew some corn fed farmboys on Macragge, did he? "There are chapters who defeat death itself," (Grim big freaks) "through sheer will." You're just not...trying...hard...enough?
"The point is, you are here now, not in your place. And maybe, being here, just as for me, the rules here are different for you."
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"But you can't exactly turn your eyes purple right now through sheer willpower, can you?" he countered. "Or turn your skin green. Not without having some sort of gene editor, correct?"
apparently trying to make Caine bsod again?
"I would not want to resemble an ork, so I would not even try." Obviously. Why would he want to look like a xenos?!
"My point is, this is not your world. There are none of your 'developlers' (or whatever, he can make up words, too!) here. Surely you have already done something here that you could not do back in your world?"
Ironically this might help just because Caine is finally talking about his thoughts. XD
He was going to straight up crash at this rate. Or have an aneurysm. (Did he even have a physical brain somewhere?)
"Sort of?! I've never needed to eat before arriving here because this world made me some strange mix of my model and a physical body which I can't even comprehend how it works!"
Therapist Gadriel. A terrible idea.
But also, HA! "So this world has wrought those changes on you--which in your world you claim are impossible. Yet you think that is the limit of what can be changed here?" Listen, he went from a xenos murdering idiot to just a...regular idiot. "As people have told me since I arrived, things are not the same as they are in our homes."
Gets you to open up by pissing you off to the point, you spew your guts.
"It's not impossible to eat in the circus, you absolute -- !"
The safeguards kicked in as the thoughts of violence towards a human set them off.
He was forcefully straightened up as his voice said cheerfully, "Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!"
Honestly that would fit Warhammer canon.
Wait. What just...
"Don't do that."
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But even without saying it, Gadriel could likely see the defeat in his eyes. He hadn't wanted to do that and hadn't done it deliberately.
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"I..." he's also feeling defeated. This place: if it had more monsters to slay, he would feel better. He can't succeed with peopling, even when the people aren't, well...people. "I do not know how to help you. But that is not something you should have to endure, for merely having feelings or thoughts."
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As infuriating as talking to Gadriel had been, he weirdly felt slightly better. Like when Viktor had offered to assist him with his code once they got a means to access it.
Like there were people who saw him as more than just an AI: artificial or abominable intelligence.