Joshua's question pierces him with grief. He hadn't allowed himself to so much as think of Terence, and now..

Dion clears his throat with some difficulty and exhales slowly. "..I always imagined I might. I would dream of the day I could lay down arms and dedicate myself to my lover. But we both knew the likelihood we would ever see the end of war- let alone together was.."

He shakes his head, voice roughening. "And even if by some miracle we did, my body would likely have been so far gone, I would only have burdened him, and.. and he would have watched me die not long after."