Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's been twisting her up for much longer than Jade would like to admit. It was easier when she could just put on a mask and pretend, because no one knew. No one had to know.

The knowing feels like it's trying to change things. Shift the pieces on the board she's arranged so well up until this point. And now, all she can get out are two words:

"Doesn't matter."

She gave up her right to grieve when she decided humanity was probably better off dead, and it could go straight to hell without her.