There was a great deal Gadriel hated about that memory. The loss of his men, his distrust of his commanding officer and the orders he'd been given. A shameful example as an Astartes, laying open all the ways he was weak.

"...my failing." And now Maedhros sees them and sees through him. How he was always falling short of the ideal, even though he had passed every test to become an Astartes, there was always this little seed of failure.